I believe all people have a magickal nature but not all will see it that way. Some tap into their magick during therapy. Others through art. And still others in the clarity of a walk on the beach or in the woods. But we all have it. If you end up on my doorstep, the local Witch, then you are seeking to engage with magick.

Some start wanting a simple reading that leads to a deeper conversation and perhaps a spell consultation, a meditation, a philosophical conversation, a potion or oil, or a deeper healing session. Those open to it see the quick magick fix is really a soul journey.

When people embark on healing, they either have visions of the quick magick cure or envision “being spiritual” as peaceful meditation filled with joy. I know my first steps in the greater healing journey resulted in strongly expressing my anger to a new supervisor after just being hired and taking a flower remedy for only three days, resulting in me walking out. I was upset even more because the potion was suppose to “help” with anger. I was stunned when my healing facilitator said it did. It helped me get in touch with my anger and when my boundaries are being violated and when someone was taking advantage of me. Now we could build a relationship with the anger and work in appropriate ways to express it. I was both more angry and shocked but it changed my perspective on healing forever.

Healing requires a deeper relationship with ourselves. After realizing something is wrong we either consciously know what, or have to go mining for our issues and past experiences, often trauma, and really look at how those things are effecting us. Even when conscious of it, it’s often like an iceberg, with a small portion visit me and massive amount unseen and connected to the issue.

In that realization we have to evaluate what was the result of our action and what could we do better with and what we had no control over. I’m not for the bullshit that says our soul chose and agreed upon every trauma with the souls of our abusers in some sort of contract. That is a very modern idea from an overly litigious society. The best way I can explain my understanding is that we have patterns and others enter and intersect with the patterns of fate but we have free will in how we express and participate in the patterns. Our pattern maybe about power and there are many ways to lean and express power. Violating boundaries and having our boundaries violated is only one, not very creative way. Abusers have to take responsibility for their choices, actions, and expression of fate or karma. Saying my souls made me do it is as poor as saying the Devil made me do it.

We must take responsibility for our own words and actions and when possible and appropriate, rectify mistakes and ask forgiveness. We forget that we are often the abusers of others and not the perpetual victim. And we must set boundaries. Sometimes the boundary is total removal and sometimes it’s not.

Both sides of responsibility requires communication which is uncomfortable and messy. It starts with a self dialogue perhaps facilitated by a therapist or healer. Often our assumptions of a situation are challenged when you only know your side and lack information and perspective. Sometimes that can change things dramatically and sometimes it doesn’t.

When we believe we are intuitive, magickal, or psychic, we can assume all our thoughts and feelings are psychically true, and we automatically know the other side. This is categorically false in my experience. We have our filters and lenses on the best days but when we have been wounded we perceive through the wound and it clouds us. Others seeking to support us can affirm our conclusions. I find it incredibly helpful to have friends who will lovingly challenge my assumptions and offer perspective other than my own. It can radically change the outcome of a situation.

Going forward we have to modify our behavior to not repeat these patterns or recognize more quickly when unacceptable behavior is being forced upon us and have a strategy that reinforces healthy boundaries. That is the key for evolution. You’ll be faced with the same issues again and again. It’s not “one and done.” These are your patterns. If you become a healer you’ll attract clients who have the same patterns and constantly remind you. You have to keep clear and aware and recognize when you are taking things personally. But each time, personally and professionally, you handle it more skillfully as my Buddhist friends say.

Wow! Sounds like a lot of work! Why do I have to do this? I’m the victim here! Yes. I empathize. It is a lot of work. But the wound has happened. If not you to heal it, who? You can wait for your abusers, real or imagined, to do their own healing and come to you for forgiveness and reconciliation, but you could be waiting forever. What was large to you is small for them, assuming they ever got on a healing path at all. Spoiler- most people don’t do so consciously at least.

If you are conscious enough to recognize the wound, you are called to heal. A wise friend is fond of saying, “Its not my fault but it is my responsibility.” We have our own and we inherent things from family and society. Someone has to take the first step and then the second and third. Others may or may not join to help. But there needs to an initiator, one who begins, and initiated the process for others.

This is the true secret of spiritual initiation. Our deepest wounds and strongest poisons can be the catalyst for our greatest growth. Do I dream of a world where spiritual catalysts are not traumatic? Yes, and try to create models and systems to facilitate that. But in the wheels of the Witch there will always be darkness, winter, withering, and bane, and the awe that accompanies these forces. For without them there would be no change.